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Welcome to the Bungle
Starmer to announce new cabinet following series of unforced errors.
Jul 20
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The Yookay Review
2
London to Be Walled Off from Common Sense
New “Ideological Safety Perimeter” to defend capital from exposure to working-class opinions and biological reality.
Jul 20
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The Yookay Review
1
NHS Vows to Tackle Antisemitism by Hiring Fewer Jews
“It's hard to discriminate if there’s no one left to discriminate against,” says Diversity Tsar.
Jul 19
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3
1
Teenagers to vote via TikTok button, government announces
13–19-year-olds to receive free smartphone, provided they vote responsibly (i.e. Labour)
Jul 17
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5
‘Forever Pride’ Declared as State of Permanent Celebration Begins
Wembley to hold series of rallies and torchlight processions.
Jul 17
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2
1
Guardian Journalist to Have Last Vestige of Humour Surgically Removed
Columnist to become first fully humourless lifeform outside academia.
Jul 16
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6
3
Taliban Complains About Poor Formatting in MoD Excel Leak
“At least send it as a CSV,” says commander.
Jul 16
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2
Singapore Uses UK Foreign Aid to Buy Isle of Wight
UK funds climate future by selling bits of itself to countries that work.
Jul 15
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4
Farage to Clone Himself and Run in Every Constituency
Labour calls the move “a desperate gimmick” but also "a very real danger".
Jul 15
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5
BBC Comes Out as Non-Binary: “We No Longer Identify as Impartial”
Viewers urged to respect the BBC’s truth journey and not misgender its news output.
Jul 15
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1
Stephen Fry Transitions Into a Metaphor
Beloved polymath completes final evolution from national treasure to ambient ideology.
Jul 14
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The Yookay Review
Britain Accidentally Outsources Immigration Policy to Kurdish Gang
Kurdish smugglers granted “Trusted Logistical Provider” status under new framework.
Jul 12
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