Nation Declares News About Itself “Beyond Parody”
Emergency taskforce recommends turning country into full-on parody before someone else does.
LONDON: In a surprise move, the UK government has officially declared that the country’s newspaper headlines are now indistinguishable from parody, and has taken the unprecedented step of launching a formal publication to chronicle the farce as it unfolds.
It follows a difficult and emotionally charged week for Britain, in which Paddington Bear’s botched gender realignment surgery led to her being mistakenly reclassified as “they/them” by the BBC, who have since launched an internal inquiry. Meanwhile, Sir Keir Starmer’s new plan to tackle knife crime through NHS-prescribed interpretive dance was met with outrage by victims’ groups and the Royal Ballet. And the Home Office’s new “compassionate deportation” pilot — offering Channel migrants scented candles and handwritten apologies from the King — was branded “patronising and unworkable” by human rights lawyers.
The new publication, The Yookay Review, has been described as “satire for a nation beyond parody.” It promises to report only what hasn’t happened yet — but probably will happen by next Thursday. Or already has in spirit.
The editorial team say they will do their best to hold the country’s broken mirror to its own face, even if that mirror is still under development, awaiting approval from eleven quangos and three ethics panels.
A Downing Street spokesperson welcomed the launch, stating:
Britain remains committed to free speech, as long as it’s inclusive, government-approved, and doesn’t offend anyone — except the Gammon.
The Yookay Review says it will remain live until satire is banned — or the last competent person emigrates. Whichever comes first.